Love is almost like a shoes.

You got a pair that you really love.

You use it everyday.

It looks ugly, but you like it anyway.

It fits and feels right for you. Then it’s broken.

Maybe the heels.

And you suddenly find yourself confused.

Whether to repair it or buy a new one.

Because you know, once it’s broken, it would never be the same again.

But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs.

How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave.

And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future.

Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on.

Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.

"Uninvited" ALANIS MORISSETTE

Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot-blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepherd need shepherd
But you you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate

PADA AKHIRNYA, YANG MENYAKITI YANG AKAN MERASA PALING SAKIT.

I hate this morning. I woke up and I missed you already.
how can I lie to myself, think that I don't missing you. I miss you.
But how can I being much more egoist.
Forgiving but not forgetting. That's your ego.
And I want you still in my live is my ego.
Two head, two ego, uncompleted heart.
Love doesn't hurt us, our ego does.

Doing something and forgetting something else..

beberapa foto dari fotobox berdua sama @putriintaan, sebelum nonton Johnny English yang lucu banget sampai pengen nendang si MR. "Johnny" Bean. NICE FRIEND, GREAT NIGHT :)

@mrPancake, menu pilihan saya Coffee Cream Cookies dan Blueberry Iced Tea, membuat hari ini sangat membahagiakan :))

Sometimes, you just need to laugh with no reason, just to keep you still alive.
no matter your problems, you have someone who can sit beside you.
that's a best friend. Together doing something and together forgetting something else.
A boy friend? Haha, well, sometimes, being single is not that bad. I am a single and I am happy on my way :))

The way she makes me feel better

My Bestie, @putriintan, sometimes, I just need being close with her, without too much talking 'bout my problems, and I will be better in the end.

Ikan Dori dan Sosis Salmon @ranchMarketGM, lalu lanjut Brownies Ice Cream @deBoliva

HAPPY BLOGGER DAY, WORLD :))

another Oktober's moment

FESTIVAL GIGI SEHAT, 15 OKTOBER 2011.saya menyukai anak-anak, oh saya mencintai mereka. Dan saya tak kalah sukanya sama BALON

ini di KILLNEY, niatnya mau ngopi, tapi kemudian tertarik dengan minuman gandum. Malamnya saya tidak tidur karena mengerjakan TUGAS MANDIRI :|

kalau ini, lebih dari sekedar mencoba membuat hidup saya nampak normal di beberapa minggu yang mencoba membuat saya gila. hangout with one of my best friend ever.

Rindu, Agnes Monica...

Beberapa minggu terakhir ini, banyak sekali hal yang terjadi, kesedian, datang silih berganti.
Dan masih akan ada lagi hari esok. Saya optimis, tapi takut.
Saya hanya merindukan banyak sekali orang, tapi saya takut untuk mengatakannya.
Saya hanya takut menjadi semakin sedih. Dan membuat orang-orang yang saya rindukan juga merasakan kesedihan saya.

between somewhere and nowhere

"How stupid is it that a girl has to wait for a guy's call anyway, right?" -He's Just Not That Into You (2009)

“You can only hurt a person so many times before sorry becomes just another word which has no real meaning.”

“Kau tidak jatuh cinta padaku. Kau hanya jatuh cinta pada saat-saat yang indah bersamaku. Setelah jauh waktu berjalan, aku bukan siapa-siapa.”

—	Zerry Hendrik

Pointnya, cinta itu nggak ada kan.

I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.!

"Selain karena kapal laut dan alkohol, orang munafik juga bikin pengen muntah."

'Cowok tampak santun dan formal itu terkesan munafik.'
'Cowok juga perlu urakan, tapi bukan kurang ajar.'

@sudjiwotedjo

Aku bisa saja berhenti lalu mencari jalan lain, tapi tidak, karena di sana tidak ada kamu.
Aku bisa saja berhenti lalu menunggu seseorang datang, tapi tidak, karena seseorang itu bukan kamu.
Aku bisa saja, tapi buat apa, jika di depanku ada kamu. Jika dengan sedikit lagi berjalan, kita akan berjumpa.
Karena kamu telah menungguku di sana.
Karena di sanalah kamu tetap diam menantikan kehadiranku, saat aku tertatih ke jalan lain.
Karena kamulah yang selalu pulang ke hati ini.

Gun N' Roses, NOVEMBER RAIN

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same

'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain

We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain

But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away

If we could take the time
to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time... on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Sometimes I need some time...on my own
Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time... on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain

Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one

siang-siang saat kuliah, Fredy sms, "gun n roses, november rain, cocok deh kayaknya."

Setelah baca liriknya, hmm, ya, that's so me

Berhentilah membuat dirimu sendiri menangis sepanjang jalan.
Kau tak perlu membuatku menyimakmu dengan sikap manis.
Berhentilah membuatku tersandung dengan tangismu.
Kau tak perlu membuat dirimu sendiri tampak bodoh untuk dikasihani.
Berjalanlah dengan benar di jalanmu. Dan aku akan berjalan dengan benar di jalanku.
Nanti, di sana, di jalan kita, berhentilah sejenak lalu berjalanlah bersamaku.

We become attached to what's familiar, and sometimes we hold on things that are safe and predictable, even if they are bad for us.

- Annica -

Jika aku punya hak untuk mencintainya tanpa alasan, maka dia pun punya hak untuk tidak memilihku tanpa alasan.

Terkadang kita tidak punya alasan untuk menolak seseorang, terkadang kita tidak punya argumen untuk sekedar bilang tidak tertarik.

- Annica -

Jika aku punya hak untuk mencintainya tanpa alasan, maka dia pun punya hak untuk tidak memilihku tanpa alasan.

Terkadang kita tidak punya alasan untuk menolak seseorang, terkadang kita tidak punya argumen untuk sekedar bilang tidak tertarik.

- Annica -

Masa lalu.
Mereka bilang, jangan membenci masa lalumu.
Bagaimana aku harus membenci masa laluku.

I CAN FORGIVE BUT NOT FORGET, I CAN FORGET WITHOUT FORGIVE,,,
@putriintan

If it's a broken part, replace it. If it's a broken arm, then brace it. If it's a broken heart, then face it. Hold your own, know your name and go your own way. And everything will be fine.

-Details in the Fabric-

TERIMA KASIH,,, :)

Yang membuat paling sedih, karena dia adalah orang yang paling dipercaya untuk menjaga. Tiap orang berhak memilih. Pergi atau tinggal. Berjuang atau menyerah. Yang jelas, keduanya akan membuat banyak hal tak akan sama lagi. Melukai dan dilukai. Dulu memilih pergi dan kini dipilih untuk ditinggalkan. Karma. Hidup memang seperti ini kan.

"I wonder why you'll be gone again after come back? It means you are not mine forever, right? Or may be this is the way we are. I left an empty space and hurt feeling on you and so you do. No one can filled. But we can not come back again. Maybe we will have each other forever but not together." @putriintan

"Kamu perempuan, kalau mau nangis, nangis aja. Tapi kamu harus punya alasan kuat untuk itu. Menangislah untuk sesuatu yang baik, bukan sesuatu yang sia-sia." Mama GusniGusni -2-

"I never hate my past, they make me who I am now. If you can’t take my past, you don’t deserve my future."

"Tidak, aku tidak berusaha mencari gantimu. Sudah tahu sejak awal, aku tidak jatuh cinta semudah itu,,,"

"Tidak pula aku berusaha kembali. Karena sekalipun mampu, segalanya sudah tidak akan sama lagi."

"Maka biar kubawa rindu dan kasih, di dalam hati yang sudah kukemas rapi."

@williamhakim

BERHENTI DI KAMU, Anji

Tiap aku mendengar suara kamu
Rasanya mau bilang iya
Maafkan kamu, terima kamu kembali

Aku tahu kamu sangat menyesal
Akupun juga tak sempurna
Cerita kita tiada yang bisa gantikan

Namun ada satu yang terjadi
Hatiku cinta kamu
Tak bisa mau kembali lagi, ulang semua
Aku tak mau lukai kamu

Tubuhku butuh kamu
Tapi tak bisa rasa seperti dulu
Usai sudah aku

Kalau ku ingat-ingat lagi sayang
Hatiku berhenti di kamu
Cerita kita tiada yang bisa gantikan

Namun ada satu yang terjadi
Hatiku cinta kamu tak bisa mau kembali lagi, ulang semua
Aku tak mau lukai kamu
Tubuhku butuh kamu tapi tak bisa rasa seperti dulu
Usai sudah aku

KITA TAKKAN BERSATU, Audy.

Akhirnya kita tahu
Kita takkan bersatu
Sejauh ini jalani
Lelah semu semata

Lainnya kukatakan
Dari yang kurasakan
Lain juga jalanku
Tak searah denganmu

Bukan ku tak yakini cinta di hatiku
Namun ku tak mampu hadapi semua ini
Biarkanlah semua berlalu
Tanpa harus kita ingkari
Cinta yang dulu pernah terjalin
Indah di hati kita,,,

CRY A RIVER,,,

ANOTHER GOODBYE

SO, WHAT'S THE POINT OF TRIED TO GETTING CLOSER BUT YOU LEAVE AT THE END? YOU BETTER NEVER START!

orang-orang yang nggak tau apa yang diinginkan?

orang-orang yang bahkan belum melepaskan apa yang digenggamnya?
orang-orang yang nggak memiliki keyakinan buat tinggal?

I'm really sick of this damn scene!

9 September 2011. 00.06 WIB

"The Man Who Can't Be Moved"

Going Back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand
Saying, "If you see this girl can you tell her where I am?"

Some try to hand me money, they don't understand
I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense but what else can I do
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you

'cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinkin maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving

Policeman says, "Son you can't stay here"
I said, "There's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year"
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go

[Chorus:]
'cause If one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving,
I'm not moving, I'm not moving

People talk about the guy that's waiting on a girl
There are no holes in his shoes but a big hole in his world

Maybe I'll get famous as the man who can't be moved
Maybe you wont mean to but you'll see me on the news
And you'll come running to the corner
'cause you'll know it's just for you
I'm the man who can't be moved

PS: mungkin liriknya bisa sedikit digubah dengan, The Girl Who Can't be Moved :D

SENI KEHIDUPAN ADALAH TINGGAL BERSAMA LUKA DAN SETIAP HARI MASIH DAPAT TERTAWA,,,

MILLI AND NATHAN MOVIE, 2011

HAVING A COKE WITH YOU...

is even more fun than going to San Sebastian, Irún, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne
or being sick to my stomach on the Travesera de Gracia in Barcelona
partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better happier St. Sebastian
partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt
partly because of the fluorescent orange tulips around the birches
partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on before people and statuary
it is hard to believe when I'm with you that there can be anything as still
as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary when right in front of it
in the warm New York 4 o'clock light we are drifting back and forth
between each other like a tree breathing through its spectacles

and the portrait show seems to have no faces in it at all, just paint
you suddenly wonder why in the world anyone ever did them

I look
at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world
except possibly for the Polish Rider occasionally and anyway it's in the Frick
which thank heavens you haven't gone to yet so we can go together the first time
and the fact that you move so beautifully more or less takes care of Futurism
just as at home I never think of the Nude Descending a Staircase or
at a rehearsal a single drawing of Leonardo or Michelangelo that used to wow me
and what good does all the research of the Impressionists do them
when they never got the right person to stand near the tree when the sun sank
or for that matter Marino Marini when he didn't pick the rider as carefully
as the horse

it seems they were all cheated of some marvelous experience
which is not going to go wasted on me which is why I am telling you about it

—Frank O'Hara

TALKING TO THE MOON "bruno mars"

I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away
I want you back
My neighbours think I'm crazy
But they don't understand
You're all I have

At night when the stars light up my room
I sit by myself talking to the Moon.
Try to get to You
In hopes you're on the other side
Talking to me too.
Or Am I a fool
who sits alone
Talking to the moon?

I'm feeling like
I'm famous
The talk of the town
They say I've gone mad
But they don't know what I know
Cause when the sun goes down
someone's talking back
They're talking back

Do you ever hear me calling
'Cause every night
I'm talking to the moon

I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away

Malang Tempoe Doloe with my Girls, 21 Mei 2011

Lama nggak berkumpul berempat, harusnya ada Dewi juga Monica. paling nggak, hey mereka bertiga, Rani, Alda juga Dita membuat saya normal, sangat normal meski hanya beberapa jam. Tertawa, panik, lalu santai ah biarin aja, kemudian berubah lagi suasana hati dengan cepat. Saya menjadi saya yang seringkali saya rindukan saat bersama mereka. Saya bisa bad mood, dan mereka menerima itu. haha jadi ingat cerita Marinda, Tidar pacar Rani sms Radit Pacar Marinda, "Kita uda selesai MTD, Dhea bad mood."

Dita yang saat saya bad mood, santai cuek karena bahkan dia nggak peduli kalau ada bom meledak didekatnya. Rani yang akan ikutan bad mood, haha. dan si Gendut Alda Phamendyta yang akan menjadi-jadi membuat saya semakin bad mood dengan segala caranya. haha but I love them!!

Kesalahan kedua,,

If you make the same mistake twice, then it was not a mistake at all, it was A CHOICE.

haha, rasanya lucu sekali mengingat betapa banyak pilihan-pilihan saya dulu yang membuat saya menyesal. Padahal jelas, dengan satu langkah ke arah yang berlawanan dari kesalahan tersebut, akan membuat suatu hal kecil yang membahagiakan. Sangat membahagiakan. Karena saya telah mencoba. Anak kecil ini telah mencoba melawan, berat di depan. SELALU ADA KONSEKUENSI ATAS SETIAP PILIHAN KITA. Dan kesiapan itu harus dimiliki dari awal.

Berat di awal, seringnya saya memilih untuk merasakan "berat" itu di langkah pertama saya, karena saya yakin, langkah selanjutnya akan semakin ringan, dan ada hal besar di ujung jalan saya sebagai hadiah pilihan yang saya jalankan. Sebagai hadiah keberanian saya untuk meneruskan langkah berat pertama saya.

Saya berharap, dia juga akan berani mengayunkan langkah ke arah yang lain. Menikmati keberaniannya atas pilihannya yang baru, bukan "jalan" yang menurutnya telah di tentukan oleh Tuhan. Kita yang selalu memilih atas apa yang Tuhan hadapkan pada kita. Lalu Tuhanlah yang nantinya akan memberikan hadiah di ujung jalan. Dan jika jalan yang telah kita pilih KURANG TEPAT, Tuhan selalu memberikan kesempatan untuk kita berhenti lalu kembali memulai lagi. Bukan kembali lalu MENCARI jalan yang dulu pertama diberikan. Namun berhenti dan MEMBUAT jalan lain. Beranilah untuk tujuanmu. Dan karena takut membuat pilihan hanyalah milik seorang pengecut dan orang yang tidak bertujuan untuk bahagia :)

Bruno Mars- Just the way you are,,

Oh, her eyes, her eyes, make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair, falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day

Yeah, I know, I know, when I compliment her she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so, sad to think that she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look ok, I say

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are(yeah)

Her lips, her lips, I could kiss them all day if she let me
Her laugh, her laugh, she hates but I think it's so sexy
She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day

Oh, you know, you know, you know, I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same
So, don't even bother asking if you look ok
You know I'll say

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are. Yeah 

 

Belajar Pretest praktikum Farmako, Drug of the Autonomic Nervous System  ditemani playlist Bruno Mars. My favorite, Just The way You are. Hey, tidak boleh melihat menilai rendah diri sendiri kan. Selalu ada yang melihat sesuatu yang "menarik" dalam diri kita. 'Cause you're amazing just the way you are. 'Cause you deserved to be loved! :)

Colbie Calliat, "Realize"

Take time to realize,
That your warmth is. Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.

But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you

If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
And will never find another
Just realize what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder if
We missed out on each other now.

Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
Didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by

But I can't spell it out for you,
No its never gonna be that simple
No I can't spell it out for you.

It's not the same
No it's never the same
If you don't feel it to.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.

If you just realize what I just realized
Then we'd be perfect for each other
And we'll never find another
Just realize what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder
Just realize what I just realized
If you just realize what I just realized
Missed out on each other now

Quote of my thursday,,,

Doing my best now. 'Cause time never want to wait. And who will know the next? 

The Script- Live like we're dying..

Sometimes we fall down and can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say I love you enough?
Till it's to late, it's not too late

Our hearts are hungry for food that won't come
We could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you
What would you wish you would've done

Yeah... gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given it
This is all we got and we gotta start picking it
Every second counts on a clock that's ticking'
Gotta live like we're dying

We only got
86, 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

And if your plane fell out of the sky
Who would you call with your last goodbye
Should be careful who we let fall out of our lives
So when we long for absolution
There'll no one on the line

my second Wednesday in my 20th.

23 Maret 2011, Selamat Ulang Tahun,,

disaat dia berjalan lewat pandanganku,,

melalui kekagumanku mungkin juga khayalku,,

tak satupun duri yang mampu menggoresnya,,

dalam kegalauan hati aku mampu melihat,,

tapi tak mampu berkata walau ingin mendekat,,

di sini,,

di antara riuh rendahnya suara,,

selalu kutemukan dirinya dalam ketenangan dan keheningan,,